All about Sex and Intimacy after a Miscarriage

Miscarriage is a traumatic physical and emotional event both for a woman and for her partner – physical and emotional healing can take time. Returning to a routine life and looking to have sex with your partner after a miscarriage can be a difficult task. In this article we talk about the time to wait to have sex after the first time after a miscarriage, if it is safe for you to have sex after a miscarriage, how to learn how to deal with emotional trauma, and also gives advice on how to get pregnant after a miscarriage.

How safe is it to have sex after a miscarriage?

The period of waiting to have sex again after a miscarriage varies for each couple depending on the time needed for physical and emotional recovery. A couple is able to resume sexual intercourse when they feel emotionally ready and the woman’s body has fully recovered.

Generally, if the miscarriage happens in the very first trimester and if there are no complications such as pain, vaginal odor, vaginal bleeding or continuous symptoms of pregnancy, sexual intercourse can resume after 2-3 weeks. Nevertheless, if the miscarriage happens in the 2nd or 3rd trimester, it is best to wait for at least 6 or more weeks to resume sexual intercourse.

How to manage your own emotions after a miscarriage

In addition to facing physical challenges after an abortion, a woman must also face strong emotions. Feeling sad, anxious, angry, guilty or irritable after an abortion is quite normal. These mixed emotions can make it very difficult for her to be close to her partner again, and this is perfectly normal.

The 5 stages of pain after a miscarriage

The consequences of a miscarriage are emotionally difficult for a couple. While time and comfort will heal wounds, the understanding of the stages of pain may help you and your partner to deal with emotional disorders.

1. Denial

Denial is the first stage of pain. Your mind can deny the tragedy, and this can make it difficult for you to accept what has happened.

2. Anger/Guilt

Once you realize you’ve lost your son or daughter, anger can replace denial. You can repeat in your head all the events of the fateful day and blame it on yourself or others.

3. Bargaining

At this point, you can ask yourself, “Why mе?” Sometimes women also tend to make a deal (mannat) with God to give their child back.

4. Depression

Strong, negative feelings can lead to depression. You might start to feel like you have nothing left to live for.

5. Acceptance

However, there are some good things just waiting to happen. The majority of couples accept the situations and move on. They also realize that the sooner they stop being sorry, that the sooner they can experience another pregnancy.

Tell your partner about how you feel and then ask for support.

Give yourself enough time to recover from the emotional pain caused by this destructive event. It is also wise to be open with your partner and family about your feelings. Look for grief counselling or couples counselling when necessary. Talk to your partner and decide whether you are prepared for a second pregnancy.

When can we try for another pregnancy?

The majority of doctors recommend couples who want to get pregnant again to wait for the first menstrual cycle after a miscarriage. It usually lasts up to 4 weeks. A woman’s body needs this time to make sure that her hormone levels are back to normal after miscarriage. In addition, when your regular monthly cycle starts again, you will be able to accurately estimate your fertile period. Therefore, ideally, you should wait for at least a month after the miscarriage to start trying to conceive once again.

The waiting time before attempting a second pregnancy also depends on the time needed for physical recovery. Some women may have vaginal bleeding for a few weeks after the miscarriage. Whether it is painful or not, it is best to refrain from sex until the bleeding has stopped completely in order to decrease the chance of infection.

Some women may have to surgically remove the tissue of pregnancy, which will require a much longer healing period. In addition, the cervix and uterus will remain partially dilated after the miscarriage, which makes them more vulnerable to infection. Therefore, doctors recommend not having sex or using pads until these organs are completely healed. This recovery process can take up to 2 weeks.

If the cause of the miscarriage is identified and determined as curable or recurrent, the next pregnancy must be planned after dealing with the cause.

Tips for getting pregnant after a miscarriage

• Taking prenatal vitamins: You should start taking prenatal vitamins, especially folic acid, for at least a month before you try to conceive.
• Wait until you are fully recovered: Be sure you have recovered both physically and emotionally and are ready to get pregnant. Talk to your doctor and don’t hesitate to ask for a trauma consult or pain support if you need help to get over the emotional pain of the miscarriage.
• Healthy nutrition and regular exercise: eat plenty of fruit and vegetables during meals. A healthy diet will help significantly reduce the risk of future miscarriages. Work out regularly to stay fit.
• Avoid harmful materials: Avoid drinking alcohol, nicotine and drugs. Limit or preferably avoid caffeine. All of these substances can raise the chance of miscarriage and cause other pregnancy complications.
• To relax and be stressed: Research studies show that stress significantly increases the risk of miscarriage. Try to relax and not stress yourself by doing yoga and breathing exercises, reading a book, taking a walk or any other activities that make you feel quiet and happy.